Have you ever wanted something so bad that not getting it would ruin your life?

Before, I thought it was just something that happens in books and movies that I watch until that certain thing happened to me. Let me take you back last February 2013 where all those bullshits in my life started.

It’s no secret that I love volleyball. I’m inlove with that sport more than I’m inlove with a person. I started playing volleyball when I was in elementary. I didn’t actually play but I’m part of the line up even if I’m just there sitting on a corner, waiting for the game to end because I know that the day will pass and my coach still won’t let me play since I’m not as good as the others. But that didn’t stop me from wanting that sport. I was 2nd year when I started taking that sport seriously. Seriously meaning, I attend hardcore trainings, I meet better players and most importantly, I get to play for real. It’s all thanks to my bestfriend’s dad who actually thought us everything that we know now. And since I’m inlove with that sport, it’s no wonder if I’ll get addicted to UAAP. My ever favorite team is La Salle but after a few months it changed. I’m starting to get obsessed with the Ateneo Lady Eagles that it came to a point where I told myself that one day, I’ll wear that jersey too and carry the school’s pride. I was 4th year that time when I took the ACET (Ateneo College Entrance Exam). I prayed for more than eight months and readied myself for the circumstances that may happen if I pass that exam or not. Ateneo is my dream school. I want to play in that school. It’s like a now or never kind of feeling. February 2012 came, the results of ACET were now posted, and all I can say is that, I was devastated. I cried for more than a week. A part of me was taken away. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. This may sound weird and nonsense, but this is really what I felt that time. I was like “Eto na yon? Tapos na? Ganon na lang lahat?”. But I let it pass even though it hurts so much believing that there are better opportunities that will come in the future. Summer came and we planned to tryout in different universities. First comes FEU. That was my most intense tryout ever. I know that I did great. I ranked 11 out of 85 that joined the tryout. They told us that they’ll text us but they didn’t. Second was UE. That was my worst tryout, I must say but I was happy somehow ’cause I got to play with the veteran players of the UE Lady Warriors. I told my bestfriend “Kapag hindi pa tayo pumasa, stop na. AdU na ha? Ayaw na akong pag try-outin, wala naman daw akong napapala.” As expected, we didn’t pass. I’m about to cry again when a coach approached us and asked if we want to tryout again ’cause he saw potential on us. We agreed instantly and he brought us to CEU. We did great and the caoach offered us things already. We were so happy that time. We trained even though Cavite is far from Mendiola. Then one day, they texted us that they already recruited players that came from Palarong Pambansa. I was even more devastated that time ’cause they left us hanging. I’m close to breaking down at that point in my life but luckily I did not kill myself because I believe that God has plans. And I won’t stop just because I got rejected so many times. I know I’m not good enough but I’ll do whatever it takes just to achieve that dream. LIfe must go on, all I have to do is to believe and never stop.


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